{"id":38894,"date":"2024-10-09T12:19:18","date_gmt":"2024-10-09T16:19:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.janedoe.org\/?p=38894"},"modified":"2024-10-09T12:19:18","modified_gmt":"2024-10-09T16:19:18","slug":"what-are-the-warning-signs-of-domestic-violence-heres-what-experts-say-to-look-for","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.janedoe.org\/what-are-the-warning-signs-of-domestic-violence-heres-what-experts-say-to-look-for\/","title":{"rendered":"What are the warning signs of domestic violence? Here\u2019s what experts say to look for."},"content":{"rendered":"

By<\/span> Jeremy C. Fox<\/span><\/a><\/span> Globe Staff<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

There are often warning signs of abuse in an intimate partner or family relationship that can foreshadow more extreme brutality to come, advocates for survivors of domestic violence said in the wake of a weekend\u00a0double homicide and suicide in Maine<\/a>, allegedly at the hands of the father and husband of the two victims.<\/span><\/p>\n

The killings in Bath, Maine, which tragically came during\u00a0Domestic Violence Awareness Month<\/a>, were discovered about 7 a.m. Sunday, when 58-year-old Lisa Bailey and 32-year-old Jennifer Bailey were found fatally shot at their Crawford Drive home. Michael Bailey, 66, was found later inside the home, dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound, Maine State Police said.<\/span><\/p>\n

Bath Police Chief Andrew M. Booth told the Globe his officers \u201chad recent past interactions at that residence\u201d but he was not aware of protective orders against any members of the family. Bath police logs show officers were called to the home Sept. 24 for an alleged assault with a knife.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

Advocates for abuse survivors say such tragedies represent the most extreme form of family violence. Abuse typically begins in small, subtle ways and escalates over time, according to Jane Doe Inc., the Massachusetts Coalition Against Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s a lot of other forms of domestic violence that occur and can also be really impactful and really, really harmful for a survivor as well, such as emotional abuse and financial abuse,\u201d said Ren Liu, communications and outreach manager for Jane Doe Inc.<\/span><\/div>\n

Public attention again turned to the issue of domestic violence Monday as Patriots safety Jabrill A. Peppers\u00a0was arraigned on allegations<\/a>\u00a0that he choked his \u201con and off\u201d girlfriend of three years and pushed her head against a wall, according to court records.\u00a0Peppers<\/a>\u00a0pleaded not guilty to charges including strangulation, assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, and assault and battery on a family or household member.<\/span><\/p>\n

Those experiencing violence from a partner or family member will often withdraw from others or be forced into isolation by their abuser because it makes them easier to dominate, Liu said, adding that domestic violence is part of \u201ca pattern of power and control over another person.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat we see . . . is this common thread of a survivor not feeling as though they have agency or autonomy over their own life,\u201d Liu said. \u201cIsolating people from the rest of their community is a huge part of how this abuse starts and how it tends to like thrive, because when people don\u2019t have access . . . to other folks who love them, who care for them, or who are willing to point this out and say like, \u2018Hey, can I support you with this?\u2019 they lose access to those resources.\u201d<\/span><\/div>\n

Loved ones may also notice a victim of abuse has lost interest in activities they previously enjoyed, or that they can\u2019t make plans without checking with their partner, according to Liu. They said an observer might \u201cnotice a friend constantly being monitored and constantly being checked in on, and this sense of fear, or owing to that partner.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Greta Hagen, director of development and external relations for Jane Doe Inc., said since abusive relationships are cyclical, they can at times seem loving and happy.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThere are points in that cycle that look really magical . . . to an outsider,\u201d she said. And an abuser, especially at the beginning of a relationship, may engage in \u201clove bombing<\/a>\u201d \u2014 ostentatious displays of affection used to emotionally manipulate a partner or potential partner.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s about watching that and listening to your friend or your your loved one, because survivors are really the experts in in their own safety,\u201d Hagen said. \u201cFolks will tell you if if you\u2019re ready to listen and if they\u2019re ready to share.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She said anyone in Massachusetts who may be experiencing abuse or who wants to support a loved one in an abusive relationship can call the 24-hour statewide confidential domestic violence hotline at 1-877-785-2020 or access resources at\u00a0www.janedoe.org\/find_help\/<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

While abusive behavior can escalate into fatal violence, familicide \u2014 the killing of a current or former romantic partner along with one or more children from the relationship \u2014 can also come seemingly out of nowhere and can be committed by people known as \u201cpillars of the community,\u201d according to Neil Websdale, director of the National Domestic Violence Fatality Review Initiative.<\/span><\/div>\n

Websdale, a professor at Arizona State University who also heads its Family Violence Center, said\u00a0<\/b>95 percent of people who kill their partners and families are male, but otherwise they may have little in common. They exist on a spectrum that ranges from \u201cunder-controlled, angry, often violent and abusive men\u201d who one group of researchers likened to \u201cpit bulls\u201d to what Websdale calls \u201ccivil, reputable offenders,\u201d who may have no known history of violence and reputations as upstanding citizens.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThese offenses are impossible to predict \u2014 impossible,\u201d he said. \u201cDomestic homicide in general, intimate partner homicide in general, is such a rare offense, it too is impossible to predict.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Because familicide is so rare, he said, there isn\u2019t enough data to say whether it is increasing or decreasing. But the deaths of the Baileys in Maine are the latest in a series of tragic family killings across New England.<\/span><\/p>\n

On Oct. 4, a man was arrested for\u00a0allegedly killing his father and injuring his mother<\/a>\u00a0in Enosburgh, Vt. Jordan Lawyer, 29, was\u00a0charged with second-degree murder and first-degree aggravated domestic assault<\/a>, according to State Police, who alleged he attacked Todd Lawyer, 54, and Robin Lawyer, 58, with a baseball bat at the home the three shared.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Last month, also in Vermont, a 23-year-old New York man with a history of mental health issues was arrested following the shooting deaths of his father, stepmother, and stepbrother<\/a>\u00a0at their farmhouse in Pawlet, Vt., authorities said. Brian Crossman Jr.\u00a0was charged with aggravated murder<\/a>\u00a0in the killings of Brian Crossman Sr., 46; Erica Crossman, 41; and her 13-year-old son, Colin Taft.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

In August, a 37-year-old Troy, N.H., man\u00a0allegedly killed his wife and 8-year-old son<\/a>\u00a0before he was fatally shot by police on a bridge connecting that state to Maine, authorities said.<\/span><\/p>\n

John R. Ellement of the Globe staff contributed to this report, and material from previous Globe coverage was used.<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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